Our writing standard
Every Toastwright speech is drafted by AI from the customer's brief and checked against this page before it is delivered. If a draft fails any point, it is rewritten.
1. Your material only
Every story, name, date and detail in the speech comes from your brief. We do not invent anecdotes, feelings or facts about real people. If the brief is thin, the speech is shorter and plainer, not padded with made-up colour.
2. Names and facts match the brief
Every name is spelled as you spelled it. Relationships, places, years and numbers are checked against what you wrote. Anything you marked to avoid is left out completely.
3. Written to be said aloud
Short sentences. Words you would use in conversation. No sentence that needs a second breath. Nothing that only works on paper, such as brackets or long lists.
4. The length you asked for
We write to your length in minutes at roughly 130 words a minute, an unhurried speaking pace. A five-minute speech is about 650 words. You will speak faster or slower than that, so time yourself reading it aloud.
5. A shape the room can follow
An opening that says who you are. Two or three stories, each making one point about the person. A turn from the jokes to what you really mean. A clear last line or toast, so everyone knows when to raise a glass.
6. Kind humour, in the tone you chose
The jokes come from your stories, not from a stock list. The person being honoured should enjoy every line. Nothing about exes, looks, money or anything a grandparent or a child in the room should not hear, unless you tell us the room can take it.
7. No stock phrases
No dictionary definitions, no "for those who do not know me" followed by a list of achievements, no borrowed quotations passed off as wisdom, and no lines that could be said about anyone. If a sentence would fit any speech, it is cut.
8. Everyone can follow it
Private jokes are either explained in a line or left out. Guests who met the person last week should understand as much as those who have known them for forty years.
What this standard cannot do
It cannot promise laughter or tears: that depends on the room and on the delivery. It cannot check whether what you told us is true. And it does not replace your own judgement. Read the speech aloud, change any word you would not say, and use your one included revision if something is off.
See the standard at work in three samples, each written for an invented person and drafted by AI: best man, retirement and 60th birthday.